Humpty Dumpty playscript

Scene 1

Cast: Humpty Dumpty, Wall, Glue, Soldiers 1,2 and 3, Soldier’s horses

(Humpty Dumpty is sitting on Wall in a field at mid afternoon)

Humpty Dumpty: This wall is very comfortable. Not like the last one. It tried to tip me off, can you believe it?

Wall: I hate eggs sitting on me. It’s not fair! Why don’t you eggs go and sit on something else for a change?

H D: (screwing up his face) Walls are comfy, and chairs hurt me.

(Wall heaves and tries to upturn Humpty Dumpty.)

H D: (screams) Aggh! Help me!

(Humpty Dumpty collapses off Wall and splits)

Wall: (laughing) You look so hilarious, I'll split my sides laughing!

(Enter Soldiers 1 and 2 with Horses 1 and 2)

Soldier 1: What have we here?

Soldier 2: (happily) Looks like scrambled egg for breakfast.

H D: (annoyed) Don’t just stand there. Help me!

S 1: (suprised) Oh look! It talks!

H D: Obviously.

S 2: GLUE!!!

(Enter Glue with Soldier 3 and Horse 3)

Glue: Sup?

S 2: This stupid egg decided to fall off a wall-

Glue: (cuts him off angrily) I’m sick of fixing stupid eggs that insist on falling off walls! (Turns to Soldier 3) Hey, you! Hold him down.

H D: (Twisting violently) OW! STOP IT! I BEG YOU!

(Soldiers laugh and exit with horses)

Glue: (To Wall, hopefully) Seeing as those guys weren’t very helpful, can you help?

Wall: Nope. I’m very comfortable here, and anyway, what can I do? I’m a wall!

(Wall falls asleep snoring loudly)

Glue: (grumpily) Right. Looks like I’m the only one that can be bothered.

(Glue glues Humpty’s sides together and moves back)

Glue: Perfect. Now, no more walls from now on. Eggs these days!

(Glue exits dragging Humpty behind him. Humpty protests and says things like OW! HELP!

HE’S A MORON!)

By Bella