BOOM! All of Brads house was full of chaos, lightning struck as a dreadful tornado tore through his house.
‘MUM!’ Brad screamed as he soared half way around the world.
‘OUCH!!!’ brad cried as he fell hard on the ground.
Brad searched the jungle he was in he spouted some vines, trees, monkeys, and a strange lion wearing funny looking clothes.
‘Food!’ it drooled.
‘where?’ Brad asked.
‘Im looking at it,’ the lion snarled.
‘Oh, my banana,’ Brad beamed.
‘NO! its you O.K!’ it shouted.
‘Oh, ah!’ Brad screamed.
The lion pushed Brad back into a vine. Brad waled back, back and back till the vine couldn’t handle the pressure. The vine flung Brad half way around the world to his home.
‘Wake up Brad! Its time to go to school!’ shouted a familiar voice.
Brad opened his eyes and saw his sister Bob staring down at him .
"it was only a dream,' Brad puffed
You had barely ANY mistakes in this story. Most of the mistakes were to do with speech marks. You used apostrophes instead of speech marks in some areas. I didn't really understand the first sentence of the story though. I liked the way that Brads sister is called Bob! Anyway nice story Kaleb!
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